I Judge People Sometimes

'Never look down on anybody unless you are helping them up.' Jesse Jackson


I judge people sometimes.

I don’t want to. It sure doesn’t make me feel good.

But I still do it. It is after all a tendency of the mind.

Lately, I have been working on catching myself judging others because honestly I don't want to do it anymore.

What is the point? I mean, why judge others for their actions? Decisions? Beliefs?

All it does is create more separation. More distance from you to me. Less connection.

How can this be good for us?

Think about how you feel when you are in the process of judging someone.

I feel tightness in my chest and it becomes harder to breath. My energy is low. I feel small. I even feel a bit dirty. I also know, initially it feels good, especially when sharing the judgement with others, as it creates a pseudo closeness. But the more I observe myself I can see through this initial pleasure.

Now think about how often we judge others (and ourselves). Fairly often, right?

So every time I judge, my body has a reaction: tightness, etc… and my mind has a reaction: I am better or worse than that person. Which then creates an emotional reaction: a feeling of separation. The dirty feeling comes from knowing that I am doing this to myself every time I choose to judge someone.

Do you think my body is functioning at it’s fullest capacity when in a judgmental mode? Are my cells being fully oxygenated? Is everything flowing properly?

Physically, emotionally and mentally we are not creating an ideal environment for health or happiness when in judgement.

What can we do?

To change any habit it needs to be replaced with something. So here we can look for what we want to be doing instead.

What if we focused on forgiving instead of judging?

When we judge we decide that the other is wrong, worse, dumb, weird, etc… and they need to be corrected to our ‘right, proper, normal, intelligent’ point of view or way of living (or we need to better ourselves to reach their status). We separate ourselves from that which we are judging. Putting distance between the “wrong”or “better” thing and ourselves.

When we forgive we allow.

We let things be. We see a connection between what someone else is doing and what we are doing. We see that perhaps we have done the same thing at some point in our lives. Which creates connection and understanding.

I know when I focus on forgiving instead of judging I turn that dirty, tight, small feeling into a feeling of expansiveness, inclusivity and openness. And I can again take a deep breath.

How do you feel when you are in judgement? What do you do to get out of it?